My heroes haven't always been cowboys
by jibber59
Summary: Loss doesn't always have to be personal to make us sad. A one shot short ATF piece dedicated to the people who inspire us. (Story being reposted to correct a glaring error on my part!)


_Dedicated to the memory of Stan Lee, and to all of those who inspire our dreams._

"What's wrong with the kid?"

Josiah watched JD walk into the room, passing by all of them as if they weren't there as he went to his desk.

Buck shrugged. "Been quiet all morning. Asked him, and he just said I wouldn't understand."

"So, not girl trouble – cause you now a lot about that." Vin hoped the teasing might inspire a comment, but the young agent just sat at his desk and reached for a file.

"Spill it JD. What's got you in a funk?"

"Nathan, all of you. Leave the young man alone." Ezra didn't bother looking up as he spoke. "If our colleague does not wish to share the impetus for his mood, he is not required to do so."

"Thanks Ez."

Buck pulled a chair next to JD, ignoring Ezra's admonishment. "Well, at least I know you can still talk. Come on kid. What's wrong?"

"It's just something I heard on the news is all. You'll all call me stupid and laugh, so just drop it."

Chris came out of his office, having heard just enough to make him curious. He was about to speak but didn't get the chance. Josiah didn't like to pry but was concerned for the young man. "Anything that can get someone with your eternal optimism looking this down isn't to be laughed at, I can assure you. Please JD."

Reluctantly the young agent looked up and, accepting the fact they were not going to leave it alone, explained.

"Stan Lee died."

The name was familiar, but Josiah couldn't recall JD having a friend by that name. "And he would be?" he asked softly.

Staring in disbelief, it took JD a moment to answer, so Vin spoke up. "He was some kind of comic book guy."

"Some kind of… you guys are kidding – right?"

"Forgive us JD. We don't all have your interest in that particular area." Chris knew this was important to the young man even if he couldn't figure out why.

Buck was less sympathetic. "So some comic guy dies, not even someone you ever met, and this has got you feeling lower that dirt. You were right. I don't get it."

The disbelief on his face was turning to anger. "I knew that's what you'd say. You don't care about anything that isn't about you and who you're gonna be dating tonight."

"Well I sure don't care about some guy drawing comics."

Vin tried in vain to play peacemaker. "Easy guys. Just let it go."

JD slammed folders on his desk, venting in the only way he could at the moment. "Should have just kept my mouth shut."

"No JD, you shouldn't." Josiah automatically went into counsellor mode. "When something upsets you, you should feel free to talk about it with your friends. And your friends," he glared at Buck, "should try to be understanding."

Leaning forward at his desk, Nathan tried to catch JD's attention. "Who's your favorite?"

"My favorite?"

"Everybody who reads comics has a favorite superhero. Who was yours?"

"What difference does it make?" He was in no mood to be humoured.

Nathan ignored the question. "Guess it's no surprise I like Black Panther. Friend of mine showed it to me when I was about 10 years old. Never knew there was a black character in the comics, let alone a hero. Stan Lee was a bit of pioneer on that."

For the first time that morning, JD smiled. "Yeah. He was the best when it came to creating superheroes. Practically invented them."

Chris held up his hand. "Hold on there. Those of us who spent our allowances on Superman comics might have a different opinion on the matter." He laughed lightly at the shock on JD's face. "What, you think I didn't read comics as a kid? Even had a cape. Scared the hell out of my mother when I jumped off the garage roof trying to fly."

"I wanted to be Spiderman." JD admitted. "But more than that, I wanted to be able to create comics like Stan Lee did. His stuff was awesome."

That caught Buck by surprise. "You wanted to draw comics? I don't think I've ever seen you even doodling."

"That's because I can't do it worth a damn. My art teacher took a look at my stuff and suggested I take shop classes instead."

"Then your teacher was a fool." Ezra had been quiet since his first comment, but that revelation angered him. "Discouraging a child from a dream is cruel, and something no decent teacher would even consider doing."

"Nah, she was right. I stunk." JD grinned self-consciously.

"Have you any idea how many artists, scientists, musicians and so on were told their early efforts 'stunk'? Thankfully, many ignored that criticism and went on to create masterpieces or make amazing discoveries. I for one would like very much to see your efforts, if you still have them."

The was no suggestion on Ezra's face that he was anything less than sincere in his request. Buck was beginning to feel like a heel.

"JD, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that, but I guess I just can't see getting worked up about someone you didn't know. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't. I guess."

"I know how he feels." Vin had a far away look. "Still can remember how I felt when Jimmy Stewart died. I've seen every movie he made. Now, that was a class act. Didn't matter if he was a cowboy, or a banker or politician. He always was real. Always seemed like the kind of guy you wanted to get to know. Kinda felt like I lost a friend that day."

Chris leaned against the wall. "I remember seeing Steve McQueen in the Great Escape when it was on TV. Guess I was about 11 or 12. I thought he was the coolest guy I'd ever seen. Saw Bullitt a bit later and I was determined to grow up to be just like him. Damn near about broke me when my dad told me he'd died almost 10 years earlier. Never even heard of him before that day, and it gutted me."

"First time I heard a recording of Folsom Prison Blues, I knew I had to meet Johnny Cash. Song sent shivers through me. Never got the chance to do that but did see him perform a few times. Feeling never changed. Day he died a little corner of my soul went with him." Josiah could hear the music in his head as he spoke.

"What about you Nathan. Black Panther aside, you have any heroes like that."

"I'd guess none of you have heard of Dr. Riley Ransom? No, not surprised. But if you'd been a black man in Texas turn of the last century, you probably know who he was. Set up the first hospital for black, and never turned any away. Doesn't take much imagination to know what he must have had to deal with, but nothing stopped him. Always wished I could have met him."

JD turned in his seat to look at the first of the team who had come to his defence. "Ezra – who's your hero?"

The southerner sat quietly for a moment. He'd known the question would get posed to him, and also knew the real answer would not go over well. His role models as a child had been far less than heroic, and he had never dared to dream of anything better. That was not what these men wanted or needed to hear.

"I did not delve into the world of animated heroes and was rarely in a position to pass time away at the movies. My exposure to the cultural icons you seem to favour was quite restricted."

Vin wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. "Had to be someone. What about all those books you read? Didn't you want to be someone from them? Or maybe meet one of the authors?"

Fantasies about being one of the Musketeers, or a member of Robin Hoods band had been the closest to having friends that Ezra had come. Admitting that was just to pathetic for him consider. He smiled broadly when a name came to him. "I, like Nathan, would have to go more historical for my choice. Harry Houdini."

"Really?" Chris was surprised at the choice, but Josiah wasn't.

"Of course. A master of illusion. One of the best ever to develop the art of manipulating an audience, misdirecting attention. Using his wiles to achieve his goals."

"Precisely. You can see why an encounter with such a man would appeal to my basic nature."

JD smiled sadly as he sat back. "So, I guess it's not so strange for me to be upset about this."

"When you consider that our lives are shaped by a myriad of experiences and encounters, many of which we have no control over, it is only natural that we seek out those we can idolize and admire to help us toward our goals. A personal relationship is not needed for the better characteristics of these icons to influence and shape us. And losing that contact is losing a friend. Your grief is completely understandable."

"Well said Ezra." Josiah was pleased to see the normally aloof member of the team showing such support.

Buck cleared his throat. "Never really saw it that way. Even though it's kind of staring me in the face every day." They all stared for a minute, not understanding. Suddenly JD grinned.

"Your John Wayne clock! Man, I forgot all about that tacky thing."

"Hey! The Duke was a legend."

"Not making fun of the Duke, Buck. But that clock with his face staring at you with numbers plastered all over and Pilgrim written across it – well that is just tacky."

"Maybe. But it beats having a Spiderman poster on the inside of your closet door, even if the guy who created it was a genius."

JD tossed a wad of paper at his roommate. "That is a collectible. Your thing is just junk."

Buck swatted the paper back. "Oh, way to be supportive kid."

With a sigh, Chris pushed himself off the wall and headed back to his office. Things were normal again. Listening to the friendly banter that now filled the air, he smiled. If he was making a list, there were six more heroes there that he would have to add.

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


End file.
